I’ll be trying to make these blog posts more regular.. I’m going to start with one that I’m quite opinionated about and I’m sure the majority of you can well relate to.. and that’s….Happiness.
There’s no doubt and, goes without saying that happiness is something we always set out to achieve in life, keep alive or strive for…especially in relationships. But.. and this will be controversial…I think happiness is over rated and if made a priority of your relationship, it can ironically become the downfall of it!
Very rarely in life are you truly happy ALL the time (I’m sure there are the annoying few that prove me wrong!) life has so many ups and downs, swings, roundabouts and general disappointment that happiness is a hard feeling to keep constant. Although.. this search for “happiness” is normally the number one reason people become irritable and unsatisfied within their current relationship. We’ve all heard the plea “I just want to be happy!” And we can all hear the friends and family echoing that by saying “everyone deserves to be happy”!
In the search for this apparent well deserved, constant need to be happy and the high expectations we place on our partners to make us happy, or provide a happy space etc means happiness is forced and always searched for and thus constant disappointment follows.
Happiness is great, we all want to be happy! but, in my opinion it should be viewed as a gift that appears once and a while, not a constant! It’s something that is drip fed into life and the relationship. Sprinkles of happy moments in amongst the otherwise mundane, stressful, expensive, heart-breaking, emotional, tiring everyday reality of life together - especially if kids are involved.
The sleepless nights, the constant worry and stresses of life DO need happiness to occur but it should never be held in such high aspiration as to want or expect to be happy ALL the time.
If you’re one of those that are “Not Happy” or “just want to be happy” and are feeling down or questioning your relationship, then perhaps it’s YOU that needs to take a long hard look at yourself?!
I’ve dealt with so many different struggles within couples relationships… but there is one thing that is for certain, the sooner you recognise there is a problem and seek help, the more chance there is to fix it. If you leave it, the silent treatment doesn’t go away.. it only gets worse. The negative vibes don’t go away.. they only get worse. The disrespect doesn’t go away.. yup.. it just gets worse.
If you want to chat about anything in this blog or you’re going through other relationship struggles that you wish to try and resolve then, please do get in touch.
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